Today I drove up to my apartment door to find the Westside Rentals "For Rent" sign had been put up by our landlord. Which, of course, makes sense. I'm leaving at the end of the month, and despite all my pleading none of our friends volunteered to take the apartment. So Landlord has to find new tenants. All perfectly logical.
But logic is hardly what I felt when I saw it. Inexplicable surprise and sadness swept over me instead. Of course I knew this apartment would go to someone else, I just always pictured that happening after I'd already gone. Then I could imagine it was still there, empty, waiting for us to come back and claim it. But this....well this was not in the plans.
While Landlord has not yet called to tell me that prospective tenants are coming to look at the place, the possibility hangs over me, elbowing in on my last days. Can't I just pretend a bit longer?
It's sort of like ending a relationship. Yes, I was the one who called it quits, and yes, you have a right to go on to find someone else. But do I really need to hear about it?
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